Nutella and a kitten. YES.

Oh dear sweet Lord. Should have seen this one coming. In yet another stunning example (mom sues McDonalds, anyone?) of stupid Americans being stupid, then being litigious and making the United States look silly and gullible, a San Diego mom is suing Nutella for their misleading claims that Nutella is healthy.

Funny thing is, I know EXACTLY which commercial this puddle-deep California mommy saw, because the first time I saw it, I practically yelled at the television WTF NUTELLA IS NOT A HEALTHY OPTION FOR ANYONE, LET ALONE CHILDREN. Me = hardcore Weight Watcher (the points in Nutella make me want to cry). HORRIBLE QUALITY, but check it out:

Soooo this gullible, simplistic Cali Mom saw this commercial went “OMG, I MUST PURCHASE THIS NUT SPREAD TO GIVE TO MY CHILDREN. IT IS HEALTHY.” It’s hazelnut spread. Similar to peanut butter, but with hazelnuts. What is peanut butter? Peanuts + oil + salt. IT STANDS TO REASON THAT ANOTHER TASTY NUT SPREAD IS EQUALLY FATTENING. I mean, really. Did she TASTE the Nutella? It tastes like naughty. Delicious, amazing naughty goodness that can in no way be good for you. Sure, it’s made with “natural” ingredients. There are no “artificial colors or preservatives.” That doesn’t make it HEALTHY. You can simply read the label and see how NOT healthy it is. Yeesh.

Cali Mom said, and I quote: “shocked to learn that Nutella was in fact, not ‘healthy, nutritious’ food, but instead was the next best thing to a candy bar, and that Nutella contains dangerous level of saturated fat.”

Um, DUH. It’s a chocolately nut spread of JOY. If it’s made by the same company as Ferrero Rocher… OBVIOUSLY NOT HEALTHY.

More gems from Mom, courtesy of this Fox News article:

“Nutella was worth less than what plaintiff and members of the class paid for them,” Hohenberg, the mother of a four-year-old child, said in her lawsuit, which she hopes to turn into a “class action.”

Under the terms of such a class action suit, she asks that any monetary judgment against the company be divided among “all persons who purchased on or after January 2000 one or more Nutella products in the United States for their own or household use.”

Ummm… all people who purchased it since 2000? Nutella didn’t even launch the arguably misleading and stupid ad campaign until 2010! Nutella in the U.S. from 2000 to 2009? Sans nationwide commercials featuring moms and whole grain bread! Should Nutella have used the word ‘healthy’ in their commercial? No. It really, really bothered me that they used that tack in their advertising, because I know better. I thought no one in the United States was stupid enough to buy this pandering commercial. I was wrong. Also: Nutella is worth every penny, because it is delicious.

Where will it go from here? I have a bad feeling Nutella is going to be sanctioned for misleading advertising. But I am eye-rolling HARD at this presumptuous, silly mom. I’m just guessing she’s one of those pretentious, annoying helicopter moms. Ugh.

Now, enough wrist-slapping for Nutella’s silly inaugural U.S. advertisement. Time for Nutella love! I love Nutella. LOVE IT. Spreading Nutella (or the non-hazelnutty German breakfast alternative, the choco-vanilla swirl spread) on a piece of toast is LIKE A RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. I also highly recommend dipping honey wheat pretzels in Nutella. Ten pounds of my work-summer weight loss can be attributed to this snack.  Behold, an enigmatic German Nutella commercial, which translates to “the morning makes the day.”":

MISS IT. Eat Nutella people. Just don’t kid yourself into thinking it’s healthy.