As a companion to this morning’s video post, I thought I’d discuss bra shopping in greater detail, share what I’ve learned, and open things up for discussion!
Ladies of all shapes & sizes, but particularly my bigger sisters, you know how frustrating bra shopping is. Victoria’s Secret doesn’t make bras for actual people, you know. Their “36 C” — NOT A 36 C. If you have generous breasts and are bigger around than “standard size,” finding a bra that fits the bill is difficult. You need something that will support your breast weight, without creating “back fat” or “double boob,” with a strap that doesn’t dig into your shoulders and, if you can swing it, isn’t an ugly, matronly monstrosity.
I spent years wearing sub-par bras, usually the one that was on sale at TJ Maxx or Macys, in the band and cup size that my mother helped me determine I was in my teens. I consider myself a pretty savvy woman, including when it comes to what flatters my shape & size, so it’s amazing that I spent so many years wearing poorly fitting, improperly supporting bras.
This is my pretty new bra. Amazing lift/support!
Then, I went to Intimacy, a boutique bra shop with locations in most major U.S. cities (and more opening all the time). At first I was dubious, given the cost of most of their bras — upwards of $60 each (OUCH), and the “show me your boobies” holistic fitting method, but my friend Emily SWEARS by this place and their bras. I figured if my sensible, thrifty friend found these bras worth it, I would too.
Turns out, I’m a 40 DD. As vaguely terrifying as that is (after thinking of myself as a 36 for years), the bras fit nicely and that trumped my psychological attachment to a certain size. Price tag: about $300 (3 bras + special washing powder). I ALMOST DIED.
But all that matters is how my new bras make me feel. And that is AWESOME. I have support without discomfort, no more extra back fat roll or side-boob, plus with my “girls” hoisted up nicely, I look taller, stand up straighter and (at least believe) that I look thinner. WIN.
Things I now know:
- traditional bra stores/manufacturers make only a finite combination of band/cup sizes that most women don’t neatly fit into
- boutique bra stores carry a wide variety of sizes, including bra brands from Europe, that allow for a better, custom fit
- band size is more important than cup size OR strap width. Your band should be parallel with your breasts (how many of us have had the band ride up, leading to straps digging into shoulders!)
- you should have a variety of bras and not wear the same bra every day. Bras need 1-2 days “recovery” after you wear them so the band elasticity can “bound back.” Alternating a series of good bras will make them last longer, and support you better.
- you shouldn’t washing your bras using regular detergent. It’s messes with the elasticity. Buy special washing powder and hand-wash your bras if possible.
Intimacy was the best solution for me, but there are many of options out there, especially and including retailers that specialize in plus size/big busted women. My new favorite brand: Prima Donna from Germany — pretty, attractive bras WITH the support I need. AMAZING! If you’re interested in an Intimacy bra fitting & purchase, let me know — I would be happy to send you a $20 coupon! (they have a friends & family deal — and I consider anyone who reads my blog a friend!)
Leave your bra brand/fitting store recs in the comments!
Okay so! I swear I’m not stalking you but bras are a subject near & dear to me. And I have to say, though I did love my Intimacy experience, I think they are swindling us! I told you on my last comment that they put me in a 40H but I neglected to mention that they sold me all Prima Donnas as well. I bought three and ended up exchanging one the same day because when I got it home it just didn’t seem right. I felt awesome when I wore them because they were the first CUTE bras I had in my giant size, and I do think they fit better than Lane Bryant or whatever buuuuut…I still don’t think they fit right! Maybe by the time you’re my size, there is no such thing as fitting right?! I’m lucky enough to have a specialty bra store near me and they carry Goddess bras, which are a bit less expensive than Prima Donna (okay a LOT less, they’re generally $40-$60) and work for me. I have to switch around bands and cups depending on the style of bra, but that’s really what I learned at Intimacy–to have a tighter band, and then worry about the cup.
I just feel like Intimacy upsells clueless big-boobed girls like us on Prima Donnas, because we don’t know any better and those are the most expensive. My friend Addie is a long time customer of theirs and she’s never even heard of Prima Donna, but then again, she doesn’t wear ginormo bras like I do.
ANYWAY I just thought it odd that we both got sold on Prima Donnas (and the Forever New, which when I use it I always start singing “Forever Young”). I buy Forever New at the store near me but they don’t force it on you at all, and in fact never even offered it to me.
Check out herroom.com when you’re bra shopping again. Now that you’re armed with knowledge you can branch out to some less expensive brands (Goddess! I’m tellin’ ya! They look matronly but they work, so it’s a trade-off for me.). Her Room does free exchanges and easy returns so if you have to buy a bunch and send some back it’s not a problem.
Okay I swear I’m done now.
Thanks for the info! That is really interesting! They were pushing me to get more than just two, including a few that were WAY too expensive and just weren’t what I wanted (sorry, friends, but a lacy bra with showing nipples = BIG NO). I’ll have to ask my other friends what their experience was. Another friend also walked out with a bunch of bras, but she got four for about the same that I paid, so maybe she was smarter about pushing them on less expensive brands? My cheapest bra was my sports bra, which was $70, but that seems pretty on par with decent sports bras, across the market.
At first, the bra that I was wearing in the video wasn’t the most comfortable. I had momentary buyers remorse — I’m really not used to bras where my boobs aren’t strapped down to my chest (minimizers). It got more comfortable after I wore it two or three times, and I got used to the feel of the bra. Now I’m a fan b/c they make me look so perky LOL.
I feel like less of a novice now, so I hope to not drop so much $$ on bras in future. I will check out Goddess and Forever New.
I think it is great that you finally got fitted properly. I’ve always had to go to specialty stores due to the size of my chest and I realized early on that bras can get pricey quickly. Sadly there is not an Intimacy located anywhere near me, but they look to have fantastic options.
And thanks for the tip, I usually wear the same bra several days in a row and didn’t realize I was ruining the elasticity. I think my new move would be complimented beautifully with some new undergarments. I may have to go invest like you did.
Which sports bra did you get? I’m a fan of Moving Comfort which is perfect for your size. They usually come in at $45 and sometimes you can find them cheaper. I’d definitely look into the brand, they work wonders (and I’m larger on top than you).
I’m a die-hard Intimacy fan for a few years now and clearly do my job at converting others
. I am the cheapest person you will find but the difference with Intimacy, at least from my first experience in Boston a couple years ago, you’re paying for the bra but if you gain/lose weight, they alter the bra. They’ll tighten up the straps too.
True, I’ve found the same bras at Nordstroms and online for cheaper but if that strap breaks, I just have to buy a new one. Paying $110 for a bra and then just getting fixed every few years is worth it for me over buying a $60 bra repeatedly.
I should note that my bras I bought years ago haven’t needed any fixing up yet!
Yes! Having bras that fit makes a world of difference. I tend to get sized and buy from Nordstrom. My (currently) 34G bras usually cost me between $65 and $85 a piece, BUT when you consider cost per wear, that’s actually a better deal than, say, a $40 dress I’ll wear five times. Occasionally I splurge on very cute or sexy bras that I won’t wear often, but I usually end up regretting it as they sit in my bra drawer unused.
Now that I know what brands I like (Chantelle is maybe my absolute fave), I sometimes shop online bra stores using my latest sizing. (My bra size seems to change pretty often, based on my changes in weight, how often I’m working out, etc. I try to get sized every six months.) The problem with online shopping can be the cost of sending back the ones that don’t work. That can negate savings.
I have learned, when I’m trying good bras on, to jump up and down a little, sit down, and move my arms around to get a good sense of how the bra will feel when I haven’t just put it on. When I’m paying so much, I want to be as sure as I can that something is going to be really comfortable.
Anyway, overall, clothes look SO much better on a woman who is wearing the appropriate bra. I love the difference, and it keeps me spending money I’d sometimes rather spend on something else.
OH! And Enell sports bras are a total godsend, too. I couldn’t do lots of active exercise without breast pain till I found those.