*Warning: this piece may be triggering to those recovering or suffering from an eating disorder*

When the press was going after Kate Middleton’s weight loss in March, outlets like Jezebel called out the tabloids for obsessing over her body and sensationalizing something that wasn’t that bad. However, her weight loss appears to have kept going, and now I can’t believe outlets like Jezebel *aren’t* talking about it, and its implications for women and body image.

It is difficult and conflicting to discuss a public figure’s (specifically a woman) body without feeling like one is body snarking. So I will head up this post by saying: I KNOW I’m concern trolling a bit, I feel slightly terrible doing it, but other than worrying about Kate Middleton’s stress levels, I will not cast aspersions on her eating habits (even if others do).

But, I have to share that I experienced genuine shock and awe upon seeing photos of Kate Middleton last week (below). Where I feel I have some authority of some kind to have certain feelings about Kate’s figure is that we are the same height. I’m not used to seeing public figures, other than Supermodels, who share my height. It hits home with Kate because, though our bits and pieces may line up slightly differently, looking at her, I KNOW where she is right now, and I know it’s not right.

This is the image I saw on Jezebel that stopped me in my tracks

Kate Middleton, as we knew her previously, was probably on the low but healthy end for her height. I would speculate she weighed 135-ish (possibly 140), which is very small for 5 foot 10, but still considered OK in terms of BMI. She was beautiful (still is), and appeared to be healthy and fit. I assumed she had great body image because she didn’t starve herself down to some ridiculous size. She was tall and fit, with a pleasant shape.

Then came the engagement and wedding. There were many stories about Kate slimming down for the wedding, and, yes, she looked great on her wedding day. (though I would beg the question of why she or anyone else felt she “needed” to lose weight for her wedding day!) But whether it’s due to stress (likely) or a conscious decision to continue with her regime, the weight appears to have continued to come off.

For some context, I am 5 foot 10 and weigh 218 pounds. I am overweight but not huge (thanks ridiculous, date-busting height!), and if you want, you can see pictures here. At my thinnest, I was 160 pounds and a size ten. The lowest I would conceive of going is 145, and that is a stretch at my height. Better context: Supermodel Gisele is 5 foot 11 (one inch taller than Kate and I) and weighs 130 pounds.  I throw out these numbers only to give context — when you’re this tall, what are “big scary numbers” to other women are NOT to you. 130 might be average to chubby (w/o toning and depending on diet) for someone 5 foot 2. 180 would be obese. But for someone 5 foot 10, 130 is THIN and 180 is a HEALTHY GOAL WEIGHT. Food for thought.

Add to that that now I’ve had the scary privilege of seeing an actress both on screen and off, and I can confirm that the camera DOES add ten pounds. So if you think someone looks sickly in a PHOTO, they are TERRIBLE in person. I’ve seen rib cages that I can’t unsee. Look at pictures of Kate and imagine she looks thinner in person.

Based on my best estimates, Kate is hovering around 120 lbs, at 5 foot 10.  That’s ONE HUNDRED POUNDS less than I weigh, and we are the same height, and I’m  a size 14. She’s thinner than a Supermodel. Can you imagine if I told you I was trying to lose 100 pounds? You’d recommend therapy! But because Kate started out thin and “dieted for the wedding” and is a pretty, pretty princess, few are questioning her new body. And I imagine girls are looking up to her and have cottoned on to the messaging, as well.

This is where I worry, and started to worry as soon as the wedding slim down started: Kate is a role-model, whether she likes it or not. And the message she’s communicating is that a Princess must be super thin and pretty, even if she was already thin, HEALTHY and pretty to begin with. Maybe it’s just stress and once she’s adjusted she’ll put the weight back on. But right now, she is scary skinny — and I know there are women out there who see her as a role model.

In fact, it’s been reported in several media outlets that Kate is now a “success story” in the pro-ana community. While this doesn’t mean Kate Middleton *has* an eating disorder, it does mean that those who *do* look up to her. Hell, I’d bet some members of the weight loss blogging community look up to her too — body dimorphism all around!

Here is a small gallery of photos of Kate BEFORE (with some comparison shots). She was svelte, but NOT scary skinny. Oh, what a difference 15 pounds makes on a tall girl…

What do you think about Kate’s recent photos? Am I imagining things?

UK clothing chain Top Shop has recently gotten into hot water for featuring wafer thin model Codie Young in a campaign. Eating disorder groups rallied against the ad, citing the use of a size zero model as irresponsible. Then it got interesting. Here is the original ad, plus the replacement one:

I am with the advocacy groups on the first image — the tilt of Young’s body is not flattering, whereas the second one, with the jacket on, at least gives the illusion that she is of normative size.

But what’s truly interesting is the model’s reaction, posted on her personal blog. Her spelling leaves something to be desired and she needs to learn about number lists, but there you go:

Firstly I feel very hurt because these supposed professionals who deal with anorexic sufferers, everyday for the job/career. Are talking about me as if I’m not a real person (like I’m just a model used for them to prove some point) which is not the case I am a real person with real feelings just like everyone else and comments made by these people do hurt and affect me. So I feel its very necessary for me to say something!

Firstly this is very hurtful to me as I am naturally skinny; and anyone who knows me would know that I have been naturally skinny my entire life as my dad is 6’5 tall and skinny an my mum is also skinny, not to mention that my entire family on my dads side are all tall and skinny like me!

For someone like Ms Davies to say its not okay for me to be this thin ( which is how I was created) basicly says its not okay for me to be who I am!

I am very happy with my body and how I look because its apart of who I am! Throughout my entire childhood I was called anorexic and people would ask if I was bulimic. And it was really hard sometimes for me to deal with as I have always been this way.

You know what some people are just naturally skinny and even if I tried to put on weight it wouldn’t matter, because it doesn’t matter what I eat, I dont put it on. sorry to dissapoint you but why should I be accused of something so awful as being anorexic when I’m most definitally not. I love food as anyone who actually knows me would know!!!

And finally yes okay I maybe an American size 0-2 and a UK size 8 so what. There are overweight/obese people who are a size 34 or 18 but know one says anything to them because you don’t want to affend [sic] them! Just because someone eats a lot doesn’t make them healthy. Just like not eating anything doesnt make you healthy. And funny enough saying I’m anorexic affends [sic] me just as being called obese affends [sic] overweight people, but the differences is that im not anorexic!

I’ll start with my one and only “offensive” point (ie: going on the offensive): Ms. Young is wildly mistaken that overweight/obese people don’t get called out for their size. What a silly and short-sighted remark to make! I would beg her, and any other person who thinks this, to dwell on the ABSENCE of larger bodies on TV, in film, advertising and fashion. Anorexic/too thin models are being called out for their bodies and what message they portray. Fat people simply aren’t ALLOWED to be seen AT ALL.

But more importantly, regardless of whether or not Ms. Young is too thin, or the ad was irresponsible, I think her blog post brings up an important point: you don’t have to be overweight to be discriminated against and bullied about your body.

Incredibly thin women are routinely picked on, including and especially those women who are considered bony, flat and “unwomanly.” Our own body standards — and even the “feminine” ones that I embrace to bolster my self-esteem, can cut quite negatively the other way. Sometimes, we need a reminder of that — body shaming goes BOTH ways, and women in particular are held up to almost impossible standards when it comes to our bodies, ownership of them, and what other people will say.

Let’s say we take Ms. Young at her word that she is not anorexic or bulimic, just as we would want people to take US at our word that we don’t sit on the couch and shove potato chips into our mouth (healthy at any size). It must be frustrating, demeaning and painful for her to constantly be accused of having a serious mental/eating disorder. And for that, she deserves our compassion. (and she, in turn, I would beg, should rethink her broad comments about overweight/obese people — the knife cuts both ways!)

An interesting story caught my eye this morning about a Michigan teenager who won the chance to wear a $25,000 Versace dress to her prom. The thing is, she didn’t win this contest by chance. She won because she was the only girl who fit into the dress.

I’m not interesting in body-snarking a girl just because she’s a petite size zero, though I will say it was an interesting choice to use a dress worn by the very petite (5’1″!) Christina Ricci in a contest like this — how many teenage girls are 5’1″ and a size zero?

Among the pool in Waterford, Michigan? Apparently only one.  What bugs me about the article, is how it goes on and on and on about how ten other girls didn’t fit into the dress, but Kayla, like Cinderella, did, being a size zero. Ok, sure, let’s be happy for Cinderalla, but what about those ten girls who felt “fat” because they couldn’t zip into a doll dress? Nevermind that actual, legitimate “fat girls” couldn’t even ENTER the contest because there was no way in hell the dress would fit, by a mile.

Some days, I am starkly reminded of all the things fat girls just can’t have. Hell, in this case, it was unfair to anyone who wasn’t a size zero! No one can win.

I can’t help but flashback to my own prom era, and that whole malarkey. First of all, I didn’t have a date, being the tragically single, high school cliche I was. It wasn’t a big deal, but more annoying than that was not being able to find a single dress I liked that fit. I wasn’t going to wear a poofy ballgown going to a dance stag, and the dream dress I envisioned — a West Side Story style tea dress — wouldn’t come into fashion for another five years (WOE). So I wore a black skirt with a sparkly top — and not a sexy sparkly top; more like a sparkly blouse you might wear to the White House Correspondents Dinner… when you’re 50. It was all very tragic, unfashionable and fat.

Being a fat teenager = Terribly Other. I can’t even fathom what it feels like to go to the store and feel like you can try on any dress, and one of them (or more) is bound to look stunning on you. That was simply not my reality. (worst part? What I weighed around the time of my prom is my new goal. LOL)

My point is, girls larger than a size two didn’t even hope to ENTER this contest, let alone win. Setting aside the 2s to 10s, just think about all the fat girls who feel like shit because no one has designer dress contests for anyone of size. We’re not Cinderella. She was a size zero, apparently.

Anyone else have Prom regrets? I wish a) I had simply asked the boy I had a crush on and/or b) just not gone. Could have saved myself some teen angst LOL.

Tonight, as I was riding the elevator in my apartment building, I had my first truly INSANE L.A. body image experience. Other than generally amusing trips to the gym, I’ve not had too many moments in Los Angeles where I felt fat, alien or just gobsmacked by skewed body image. Yes, I am one of the larger people here, but it could be much, much worse (I’ve heard stories where overweight people in foreign countries such as Spain, Cuba, Mexico, Brazil were called fat pigs to their faces and shunned on the streets).

Today marks a turning point in my L.A. experience: Extreme Body Dysmorphia Fun Times!

So I get on the elevator on the Lower Garage level. Ride up one level, to the Upper Garage. A normal-thin (so thin, but fairly normally so) young woman gets on. We hear a shout to hold the elevator. We do. Enter a beautiful Mexican woman wearing a cute polka dot, frilly pajama set. She’s full make-up, and wearing a push-up bra that is doing her a lot of favors. Basically, she’s lovely and very, very thin. She is on the “OMG YOU ARE SO PETITE WTF” side of thin, the L.A. stereotype of size 0s and 2s.

She’s chatty. Normal-thin says: “Your outfit is so cute!”

Super-thin replies, and I quote: “OMG, no! These are my fat pjs. I used to be a size 0 and now I’m a size 3. I’m so fattttttt.”

Normal thin: *bubbly laugh*

Me: O.O

…

O.O

I was GOBSMACKED. It was maybe 30 seconds of interaction, in which I was surprised, amazed, frustrated and then just sad. A beautiful woman who is TINY thinks she is fat, at a size three (up from a zero). Honestly, she looked like a size zero to me.

And I can’t help but think: Wow. I must be the ELEPHANT in the elevator if she thinks she’s fat!

So that’s my first super INSANE L.A. body image story. Crazy, right?